CD ??

I had to look- I couldn't even remember... how much time, life, and Brody have all changed things. (It's CD 10 btw...) I should start OPK's soon. Well, technically, I should have started them 4 days ago- but I know my body well enough to know that it would have been a waste of 4 tests. So I'll start today or tomorrow, and probably 4-7 days from now it should be positive. Since we are waiting for an IUI until next month, we will go the "natural" route this month, and who knows what could happen- maybe we'll get lucky... save some money... limit the chance of twins. It would be good all around, ya know?

In other news... the Metformin is really sucky right at the moment. I doubled the dose a few days ago, and now I can't stop throwing up. Grrrrr.... last night was better, so I am hoping that today is better than yesterday. I think part of the problem is that I don't have many breakfast suitable proteins that I feel like eating in the morning, so I end up with peanut butter toast or something, and it's just not enough. So today I think I'll make eggs, and maybe that will help.

And because Matt and I are crazy, and because it took us about 15 months last time to find a name that we could agree on... we've been looking. It started because I wanted to see where Broderick had ranked last year (884- Brody was in the 140's I think, with Brodie being up there somewhere too) but then I got hooked, and I can't stop looking. We have 3 girls names- well, I have 3, Matt has 2. But the other day he offered that he might not hate the name as much as he had said, and that for a price, he might be willing to concede... his price? A flat screen tv. (minimum of about $800 probably) Or perhaps a WII (OK, now we're down to about $300)... or Guitar Hero's ($90). So basically, he just wants to make me feel like I owe him if we do end up with that name. Now that I know he can be bought though, he's going to have a tough time talking me out of it! =)

Insane in the Membrane

OK- I am officially scared out of my mind. Yesterday we drove to Fort Collins to spend some time with Keri, Brian & the kids. It dawned on me while we were driving home, that not only would our kids be closer in age than Gage and Reece, they would also be closer in age than Reece & Brody, who are 22 months apart. We are looking at something like 18 months if one of the first 2 cycles works.

Add to that our friends who just had twin girls and have an (almost) 2 year old boy at home, and I realized that could easily be us. We could have had twins this time- and with the meds, it just can't be ruled out. So then the question remains- if we have multiple follicles, do we cancel the cycle? Or do we pray for only one to release and or attach? I think part of why this scares me more than anything else is that I have always had a feeling that I was going to have multiples at some point. Since I was little, it's just a feeling I've had, but it's never gone away. And now there is a very real possibility of that, and well, yeah... twins the first time would have been hard, but with a 1 1/2 year old too? I'm not sure I'd survive!

So perhaps we should start hoping for good things with this "natural" only slightly medicated cycle before we bring out the big guns next month...

One More Month

So we are going to have to wait another month to start. The Dr. recommended that I stay on the meds for an extra month before cycling- and with Matt trying to plan a trip to Santa Barbara, and not knowing when we might have to be home for the IUI, it just didn't make sense. But we should have better chances by waiting, and that's good.

But I can't in any way say that I'm not disappointed to have things on hold. =(

THE Day...

Or at least the first of many days in this process. I head out to the doctor today... Basically just all the pre stuff... a lovely pap, a discussion on whether or not to do the prometrium (I'm currently torn, so I'm anxious to see what she has to say), getting advice on when to plan the trip to Santa Barbara (very difficult with erratic cycles), and a reminder of all the tests and procedures that we'll be going through. It's funny how I can remember the basics... there's a follicle check sometime before surge, there's OPK until surge, there's bloodwork afterwards to make sure it all worked- but I don't know the days intimately like I did a year and a half ago. One would think that after months of these tests that I'd remember, but well- I don't.

I am still a bit bitter about the process that we have to go through, but more and more, with a diagnosis and a proven work around, I am feeling more and more fertile. I am looking forward to the next month instead of dreading it. But yet the doubt lingers. What if it doesn't work this time? What if we have for negative cycles, and have to get referred somewhere else, for much more expensive, much more invasive treatment? I'm not sure that doubt will ever go away. I think no matter how real the child in your life is, until you feel that your family is complete, once you've walked in the shoes of infertility, you never really get over it.

But yes, hopeful I am...

4 days...

So in four days I will be starting prometrium. Since I haven't ever taken it before, I just started looking up the details of it. What I didn't realize is that it takes 10 days to work, and that puts our timeline back about a week from what I was assuming... I guess it's good that Matt's trip was delayed. Otherwise he would be booked to fly to Santa Barbara the same week I would ovulate, and that would be no good at all! But since it will be later, we also have a better chance at a leap day baby! =) Am I the only one who thinks that would be cool?

I am really dreading the idea of clomid. It has been very warm the last couple of days, and I'm simply not dealing with the heat well. Adding hot flashes is starting to scare me a bit. I'm not sure we'll be able to afford the air conditioning bills! Not to mention poor Brody who won't sleep with a blanket on (he kicks it off), and only has light weight pj's. I might have to pull out sweats for him.