And so it begins...

So yes, we really are crazy. I talked to our WONDERFUL Nurse Practitioner today... Nurse Cries With Me we'll call her, because good news or bad, she hugs me and cries with me. She was SO excited that we are starting to try again. I think it made me more excited than I already was- or at least made me momentarily forget that I may actually be insane.

With our travel plans for May, we can't cycle this month, but Nurse Cries With Me said that she would start the next cycle on Mat 15th if it doesn't start on its own. That would put our IUI right at the beginning of June.

So there are the "facts." The down & dirty is that I am scared out of my mind. While I know that Matt and I are ready for another baby- I'm not sure I'm ready for the process. The metformin... the clomid... the wandings... the hot flashes... the nausea... the emotional highs and lows...

I thought that having Brody really helped me get over the emotional turmoil of the year of cycling. I think in reality, he just let me forget for awhile. He made it so that I didn't have to worry about it. I have my miracle baby- and that isn't going to change. I feel almost guilty now asking for a second miracle. But there we are. I am hoping that since my issues (PCOS, and a sperm "allergy") have been identified that this time will be easier. I even let myself joke with Matt that if we got pregnant with the first IUI, we could have a leap day baby, but I quickly stopped myself- a positive outlook for getting pregnant doesn't really come easy for me, and I doubt with the scars of my past that it ever will. But none the less... here we are.

Trying again...